It is Mother's Day

...and for my efforts, I received carbs on a stick.

I am trying to be gracious about this, but that I'm now writing about it only suggests that I have failed in this endeavor.

Two days ago, The Squire received a suspicious phone call from his father. I observed them discussing something quietly. After the call, he nonchalantly asked me if I'd ever had an Edible Arrangement. Now if you're unfamiliar with the Edible Arrangement, do let me fill you in. These are fruit flower shapes on a skewer, dipped in chocolate and arranged in a keepsake container. And if that doesn't impress, then let me say further they shave pure 24 karat gold into the chocolate and deliver them in Ming Dynasty vases, for I can think of no other reason why these bouquets should be so expensive.

Anywho, when the question was raised whether I had received such a gift, alarms went off in my head that this? is what they were going to surprise me with for Mother's Day. Knowing I needed to nix this plan pronto, I replied:

No honey, I haven't had an Edible Arrangement. Those seem really nice, though I'm dieting right now and trying not to eat that kind of thing - waaaaayyy too many carbs. If you're considering a gift for Mother's Day, you'd be better off doing something different.

Somehow in his 12 year-old mind that translated: That sounds nice/fruit is good on a diet/chocolate isn't a carb/I'm not sure what she just said, but I am male which makes it genetically impossible for me to ask for clarification.




So the family has been enjoying my Mother's Day gift.

Someone should.