Proof

Proof Alzheimer's runs in BOTH sides of the family:

The bad news:

It's not the first time the Tooth Fairy forgot to show up.

The good news:

The secret's out at our house and the Tooth Fairy will never again have to break into a piggy bank in the middle of the night to borrow a dollar from the child who lost the tooth in the first place.

More good news:

The cat's out of the bag about the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause too.

Even better news:

It only took Lady May a week to cycle through the 5 stages of grief.

1. denial - There is too a Santa!
2. anger - Stop saying there's no Santa!
3. bargaining - If I believe, Santa will still bring me presents.
4. depression - Why do you always put underwear in our stockings?!
5. acceptance - Guess what small cousin? There's no such thing as Santa.

The best news of all:

Her cousin is positive there IS a Santa, because there's NO WAY parents could afford all the stuff they get!

Sensitive Subject

Is it just me, or does it seem Sir William is a tad sensitive about turning 40 next week?

Sick

The Squire has pneumonia. After days of symptoms, we made a visit to the pediatrician who prescribed breathing treatments and an enormous horse pill I am obliged to grind up and mix in pudding like a deranged New Age cult leader. The poor guy has been very sick. In all, he's missed a week of school, ditched church twice, and has spent the better part of the last 9 days lying on the couch watching TV and playing video games. The patient's favorite foods have been delivered, chores have been suspended, friends have brought care packages AND...

it is driving his sister totally insane.

“He get's everything!” is her latest allegation. If you include an inflammatory condition of the lungs, she's right. Sadly, his illness is her new affliction and I'm certain no amount of pudding will cure it.

Belle of the Ball

I've been told every wicked mother has at one time or another uttered the words:

If you don't knock it off, you're not going to the ball!

I heard that very sentence escape my lips a few weeks ago as I was struggling with Lady May over some wardrobe issue. She and I clash in front of the closet regularly, where I've also been known to say: No wire hangers! But that's a story for another day... or CPS hearing, whichever comes first. Just let it be said, mommy dearest here is far too acquainted with wardrobe warfare than I ever cared to be. Fortunately, the threat of being left home to scrub the floors while her friends danced the night away worked like a charm, and alas, a fairy tale was born.

Waiting for her date.

Prince Charming brought flowers!

Princess & Priesthood Ball 2010

Betrayal

Turns out, Elphie bucks. I learned this the hard way on our outing this afternoon. I just wish I hadn't learned it in front of our community swimming pool FULL of people. Sigh... I have two scraped palms, a bruised wrist, two bruised knees, a bruised ankle, and a potentially fatal injury to my ego. Worse, my rear fender is bent and my brand new wicker basket broke my fall. You can imagine my anguish upon finding a $20 pile of sticks beneath my aching body. I'm beginning to think naming my bike after a witch was not such a brilliant idea. Today she has been very, very wicked indeed.

Elphie

I got a new set of wheels today! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, brought to you from a bike rack in the sporting goods section of WalMart, I present to you: Elphie! A name short for Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, which is exactly who I feel like when I'm riding this beauty.

My children and a few others don't necessarily believe I need a bike to wear the title, but whatever. Temperatures have finally dropped below 8,000 degrees, and it's Veteran's Day. Since I'm a veteran of lots of things (sack lunch making, nose wiping, toilet scrubbing, etc.), I loaded up my flying monkeys and drove to the store to buy myself a Veteran's Day present. Afterward, I spent the entire afternoon cruising the neighborhood, shouting, "FLY! FLY!" at the kids. We had so much fun, we've agreed we'll take Elphie out again tomorrow to cackle at all the dog walkers...

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!"