Is dragged behind a boat just for the fun of it.
Discovers diamonds really ARE a girl’s best friend.
That's OUR sparkling jewel!
Mow Memories
What did the monkey say when he got his tail caught in the lawn mower? It won't be long now!
If this mower could talk, what stories it would share! It might tell and retell the same jokes and stories just as it's owner did. It would probably say it got a lot of use mowing 1.5 acres twice a week. It could report the last time it was ridden by it's 92 year-old owner was the day before a heart attack would end his life. The owner, my grandpa, took great pride in his property and mowed the equivalent of 3 acres every week until the day before he died!
We believe that, and the overconsumption of blueberry pie, contributed to his longevity. (Sort of the same way I'm counting on the antioxidants in chocolate bars to extend my life).
Grandpa was one of a kind; always up at the crack of dawn reading the paper on the porch in his green rocker. He was often found zooming up and down the slopes of his enormous yard on the riding mower or maintaining relationships with hundreds of random friends he'd met at [insert any place in any country here]. He loved sports. He held season tickets for BYU football and made an annual pilgrimage to spring training baseball games. No matter where he was, he ended each day with an episode of Lawrence Welk. Big Band was a religion--the LOUDER the better! At home, he'd retire again to the rockers on the porch and watch the moon rise over the mountain.
Those cool evenings rocking on the porch, breathing earthy mountain air while listening to the sounds of crickets chirping, will forever remain my favorite memory of grandpa's place. When he died, I inherited the green rockers. They sit on my back porch now. Some days when the breeze blows, they rock on their own and it's easy to imagine grandpa there just itchin' to cut our grass.
It takes 1.5 minutes to cut your own bangs AND hide the evidence; 2 hours and 20 minutes for anyone to notice, and 17 months to grow them out.
Flushing a dead goldfish only prompts weird questions later on when a family member dies.
Strawberry and carrot kabobs with a side of Ranch dressing is perfectly acceptable for breakfast in bed on Mother's Day.
If you're at a loss for words...
[you'll want to pause the music player for this]
FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH!
But, the most important thing I've come to know is:
I have really great kids!
