I was asked to speak in church today. It was pretty much the last straw on this already overburdened camel’s back. To make things even more challenging, I got the assignment just 48 hours ago.
48 HOURS!?
Girls need more time to prepare! We don’t just jot a few thoughts down on the back of a program during the opening song. It has me thinking that men just don’t get us. When a woman says “it’s ok”, what she really means is: I need to think long and hard about how and when you’re going to pay for your mistake. When we say “fine”, what we’re feeling is: I’m right, this argument is over and you need to shut up. And “nothing”? Well, “nothing” actually means “something”, and y'all had better be on your toes. So you can imagine what I was thinking when I responded to the request: “It’s ok. Really, I’m fine…it’s nothing”.
Sigh...
It’s interesting to me, because when guys say these words, we hear something totally different too. “It’s ok”, sounds like: Dinner was mediocre. “It’s fine”, translates: That outfit’s not exactly stunning. “It’s nothing”, feels more like: I think you’re overreacting.
Experts suggest communication is the key to resolving these misunderstandings. I have a better solution—say nothing at all. Can you envision the cover for that self-help book? "We don’t speak the same language anyway, so what’s the point?" (Somehow I don’t think Oprah would consider it for her book club.)
To illustrate my theory, Sir William left church early today to catch a plane. I came home from my meetings to find he’d taken the Sunday paper with him. Despite the rush to pack and make his flight, he took the time leave my beloved Travel section on the table just for me. He didn’t use a single word, but that action was the brightest spot in my day. Whether he meant to or not, I heard Sir William say: “Hey, I know it’s been a rough few weeks for you. You deserve a vacation, even if it’s just an imaginary one. Hope you come back refreshed.”
I needed that today.
Though he does speak a foreign language, most of the time Sir William tries to “get” me. And you know what? It’s ok…really.
48 HOURS!?
Girls need more time to prepare! We don’t just jot a few thoughts down on the back of a program during the opening song. It has me thinking that men just don’t get us. When a woman says “it’s ok”, what she really means is: I need to think long and hard about how and when you’re going to pay for your mistake. When we say “fine”, what we’re feeling is: I’m right, this argument is over and you need to shut up. And “nothing”? Well, “nothing” actually means “something”, and y'all had better be on your toes. So you can imagine what I was thinking when I responded to the request: “It’s ok. Really, I’m fine…it’s nothing”.
Sigh...
It’s interesting to me, because when guys say these words, we hear something totally different too. “It’s ok”, sounds like: Dinner was mediocre. “It’s fine”, translates: That outfit’s not exactly stunning. “It’s nothing”, feels more like: I think you’re overreacting.
Experts suggest communication is the key to resolving these misunderstandings. I have a better solution—say nothing at all. Can you envision the cover for that self-help book? "We don’t speak the same language anyway, so what’s the point?" (Somehow I don’t think Oprah would consider it for her book club.)
To illustrate my theory, Sir William left church early today to catch a plane. I came home from my meetings to find he’d taken the Sunday paper with him. Despite the rush to pack and make his flight, he took the time leave my beloved Travel section on the table just for me. He didn’t use a single word, but that action was the brightest spot in my day. Whether he meant to or not, I heard Sir William say: “Hey, I know it’s been a rough few weeks for you. You deserve a vacation, even if it’s just an imaginary one. Hope you come back refreshed.”
I needed that today.
Though he does speak a foreign language, most of the time Sir William tries to “get” me. And you know what? It’s ok…really.
Wow, 48 hours? That sounds so much better than 5 minutes.... ;)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed what I heard of your talk. I missed a lot of it do to a cantankerous two-year-old in need of a nap. Maybe you'll have to speak again next week (and yes, I do know it is stake conference).
You are FUNNY!!! Thanks for the smile and reminder of the joy of simple things in life!
ReplyDeleteWhether you meant it or not, that is a really sweet story Steph!
ReplyDelete