Sorrow & Lamentation

Last night, Lady May's fish committed suicide. When we went to bed, it was swimming happily in it's bowl. When we woke, it's lifeless corpse was dried up on the cold tiles of the kitchen floor. At some point in the night, the fish catapulted out of the water and plunged to it's death. Perhaps the poor thing finally realized it's owner felt caring for it was “boring, boring, boring”.

Nevertheless, Lady May put on an impressive display of grief. She was the embodiment of sackcloth and ashes the whole afternoon ( i.e., 20 minutes). It almost made my heart hurt hearing her wail, "my heart huuuurrrrrts".

Almost.

And now for your reading pleasure, an essay about the deceased:

A homonym, but not really

When Lady May was baptized, we promised her a brand new set of scriptures with gleaming gilded pages, shiny ribbon bookmarks and index tabs making it oh so easy to locate Nehemiah, Nahum, Haggai, Obadiah and Habakkuk. Because let's be honest, you just never know when you're going to need to turn to Habakkuk with accuracy and precision. Remarkably, it only took us 1.5 years to make good on that $60 promise, and yesterday she picked out a brand new set of tiny scriptures of her very own.

As we made our purchase at the bookstore, the salesperson asked if she'd like her name engraved on the cover. Asking a 9 year old if she'd like her name embossed in fancy gold lettering on...well, anything, is pretty much like asking her if it would be OK to have Justin Bieber babysit. When it was finished, she gushed about how pretty it was and how she liked that it matched the Hyman's book she has. The Hyman's book? Huh? I was confused, and so this is how the rest of the conversation went:

Me: Do you have a book from Bishop Hyman?
Her: No.

Me: Did his wife loan you something in Primary?
Her: No mom. The Hyman's book?! The one that Grandma and Grandpa gave me.

Me: What book are you talking about?
Her: You know, the one from my baptism that has my name printed on it too?

And then it all became crystal clear what book she was referring to:

FHE as it should be

For Family Home Evening last week, Sir William taught a lesson on prayer. As he spoke, our downy little chicks sat quietly on the sofa and took notes. That's right my friends, what every mother wants: no fighting, no arguing, no complaining, no heavy sighing, no flopping around on the floor or begging for it to be over – just Lady May feverishly scribbling words in a notebook and The Squire click, click, clicking away on his iPod. I would like to say this is standard operating procedure here on Monday nights, but alas, I cannot. Until recently, Family Home Evening has been a rare occurrence at our house. It has taken our family longer than average to get our house in order, so to speak.

Regular family prayer = 9 years.
Consistent scripture study = 13 years.
Keeping the TV off on Sundays = won't happen in a million years.

(Bishop, if you're reading this, feel free to release us from our callings immediately! More righteous referrals for our replacements will be hap-hap-happily provided.)

Given our history, I figure the kids thought they'd better keep good notes because FHE may not be held again for a very long, long time. Here is a sampling of what they learned:

[click image to enlarge]

As you can see, their interpretation of Exodus 20:3-5 is: Don't pray to carrots.

(Again Bishop, if you're reading this...)

As we wrapped up the evening, I could almost hear angels spreading mortar on the bricks for our mansion in heaven when Sir William felt it important to suggest the children pray at all times, but especially when mom is driving.

And now it is official. There will absolutely be Family Home Evening next week.

The topic?
Ephesians 5:25

Someone better be taking notes.

I'm dreaming of an analgesic...

We've heard putting aspirin in Christmas tree water

extends the tree's life.

We've found it works here as well:

Mission Accomplished!

Weeeelllll... as it turns out, a letter isn't actually WAITING for you. I know. How rude! We send you on an e-scavenger hunt and this is it?!! Honestly, getting the cards out before the 25th was a Christmas miracle in itself. Please check back soon for our year in review. Until then, enjoy some of our favorite moments:

Click here to see why Lady May isn't getting any Barbies (or scissors) for Christmas this year.

Could this be why Sir William is feeling a teensy bit Grinch-ish this season?

The reason my Christmas list includes a one way ticket to Forks, Washington can be found here.