Belle of the Ball

I've been told every wicked mother has at one time or another uttered the words:

If you don't knock it off, you're not going to the ball!

I heard that very sentence escape my lips a few weeks ago as I was struggling with Lady May over some wardrobe issue. She and I clash in front of the closet regularly, where I've also been known to say: No wire hangers! But that's a story for another day... or CPS hearing, whichever comes first. Just let it be said, mommy dearest here is far too acquainted with wardrobe warfare than I ever cared to be. Fortunately, the threat of being left home to scrub the floors while her friends danced the night away worked like a charm, and alas, a fairy tale was born.

Waiting for her date.

Prince Charming brought flowers!

Princess & Priesthood Ball 2010

Betrayal

Turns out, Elphie bucks. I learned this the hard way on our outing this afternoon. I just wish I hadn't learned it in front of our community swimming pool FULL of people. Sigh... I have two scraped palms, a bruised wrist, two bruised knees, a bruised ankle, and a potentially fatal injury to my ego. Worse, my rear fender is bent and my brand new wicker basket broke my fall. You can imagine my anguish upon finding a $20 pile of sticks beneath my aching body. I'm beginning to think naming my bike after a witch was not such a brilliant idea. Today she has been very, very wicked indeed.

Elphie

I got a new set of wheels today! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, brought to you from a bike rack in the sporting goods section of WalMart, I present to you: Elphie! A name short for Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, which is exactly who I feel like when I'm riding this beauty.

My children and a few others don't necessarily believe I need a bike to wear the title, but whatever. Temperatures have finally dropped below 8,000 degrees, and it's Veteran's Day. Since I'm a veteran of lots of things (sack lunch making, nose wiping, toilet scrubbing, etc.), I loaded up my flying monkeys and drove to the store to buy myself a Veteran's Day present. Afterward, I spent the entire afternoon cruising the neighborhood, shouting, "FLY! FLY!" at the kids. We had so much fun, we've agreed we'll take Elphie out again tomorrow to cackle at all the dog walkers...

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!"

OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder

He lays awake just to watch me sleep.

And if that weren't enough...

A dozen other reasons we're a perfect match:

School of Fish

The school year ended last Friday and you guessed it, Lady May didn't take the fish to class. She didn't even take a picture. Nope. She tells me they changed Bring Your Pet to School Day to Make Tie Dye T-shirt Day.

I think I've been had.

That's okay, because today at home we had: Clean Your Own Smelly Fish Bowl Day.

Tomorrow it's going to be: I Can Call Your Fish Bella & Jacob If I Want To, Even If You Think It Makes Them Sensitive Day.

Scheduled for Saturday: C'mon Fish Whisperer, Clean This Bowl Again Before FPS Finds Bella & Jacob a Foster Bowl Day.