Sunday, May 17, 2009

Picture Tag

The rules:
1. Go to your documents/pictures
2. Go to your 6th folder
3. Go to your 6th picture
4. Post it, and blog about it
5. Tag 6 people to do the same
(Raejean, Rusty, Stephanie, Heather, Liz, Ericka--tag, you're it!)



The Squire on the riding mower at the Peterson Plantation
Summer 2007

Mow Memories

What did the monkey say when he got his tail caught in the lawn mower? It won't be long now!

If this mower could talk, what stories it would share! It might tell and retell the same jokes and stories just as it's owner did. It would probably say it got a lot of use mowing 1.5 acres twice a week. It could report the last time it was ridden by it's 92 year-old owner was the day before a heart attack would end his life. The owner, my grandpa, took great pride in his property and mowed the equivalent of 3 acres every week until the day before he died!


We believe that, and the overconsumption of blueberry pie, contributed to his longevity. (Sort of the same way I'm counting on the antioxidants in chocolate bars to extend my life).

Grandpa was one of a kind; always up at the crack of dawn reading the paper on the porch in his green rocker. He was often found zooming up and down the slopes of his enormous yard on the riding mower or maintaining relationships with hundreds of random friends he'd met at [insert any place in any country here]. He loved sports. He held season tickets for BYU football and made an annual pilgrimage to spring training baseball games. No matter where he was, he ended each day with an episode of Lawrence Welk. Big Band was a religion--the LOUDER the better! At home, he'd retire again to the rockers on the porch and watch the moon rise over the mountain.

Those cool evenings rocking on the porch, breathing earthy mountain air while listening to the sounds of crickets chirping, will forever remain my favorite memory of grandpa's place. When he died, I inherited the green rockers. They sit on my back porch now. Some days when the breeze blows, they rock on their own and it's easy to imagine grandpa there just itchin' to cut our grass.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Lessons Learned

Yesterday was my 10th Mother's Day. A decade of motherhood has taught me a thing or two:

If you take a pad of Post-it's to church, you're likely to end up with a 'kick me' sign on your back.

A unibrow can develop before one turns 8.


Waxing a 7 year-old's unibrow isn't as traumatic as it sounds.

It takes 1.5 minutes to cut your own bangs AND hide the evidence; 2 hours and 20 minutes for anyone to notice, and 17 months to grow them out.


Flushing a dead goldfish only prompts weird questions later on when a family member dies.


Strawberry and carrot kabobs with a side of Ranch dressing is perfectly acceptable for breakfast in bed on Mother's Day.

It is possible to be afraid of your own Halloween costume.

If you're at a loss for words...

[you'll want to pause the music player for this]


FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH!

But, the most important thing I've come to know is:

I have really great kids!

Friday, May 1, 2009

WHY?

That's a question we get a lot around here. The Squire has an inquiring mind. He will rattle off a thousand questions a day to which he fully expects answers for. If you tell him you don’t know, he’ll reword it and throw the same question back into the mix within a few minutes. (Yeah, we’re pretty sure he’s going to be an attorney.) We know he’s bright and questioning helps him to learn—but honestly, is it necessary to know things like why chickens don’t have ears?

My favorite question came last year when he asked: Besides prayer, how do you get a baby? I’m still not sure where he learned prayer was a necessary component for ‘getting’ a baby, but I’m not going to argue with it. Interestingly, Lady May discovered the answer to his question at the zoo last month. While visiting the monkey habitat, she noticed two of them mating. For a moment I thought I was going to have to whip out my talk about "prayer" until she exclaimed:

Look! He’s checking her for cooties!



Apparently prayer and cooties is all it takes to get a baby these days...just PLEASE don’t ask me why.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

It’s. Over.

I broke off my fictional romance with Edward Cullen this week. Not that I wanted to. It’s only because I completed all katrillion pages of the entire Twilight series in about 20 days. Yes, I have a life (a really busy one at that). Yes, I continued to live it--but I’ve only slept about 25 minutes in the last 20 days. Total.

I haven’t been so drawn to a book in, well…ever. It’s not a genre I generally go for. I don’t like fantasy (except for the ones swirling around in my own head where I have a perma-good hair day and no appetite). I don’t like vampires (unless we’re talking about a virtuous and devastatingly handsome one). I don’t like werewolves at all—not even IN the book, and that wasn’t enough to end it for me. As I am acutely aware of my own weaknesses, I can tell you EXCACTLY why:

For me, Krispy Kreme doughnuts are nothing compared to the power of a righteous man (or stone cold immortal).

It’s my own personal kryptonite.

It’s why Twilight brought me to tears. It’s why my heart STILL skips a beat around full-time missionaries (who are young enough to be my kids…er, kid brothers). It’s why I will forever have a crush on Captian Moroni. It’s why Donny Osmond was my first love...

And why I married my last.


Lucky me. He has some BrEaThTaKiNg vampire moves of his own.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Bitten!

I know, I know! It's been a while, and I'm afraid it could be a while longer. I succumbed to temptation and started reading the Twilight series (while secretly wishing Sir William was a vegetarian vampire too). Blogging will have to wait. I can only 'sink my teeth' into one fixation at a time. My current sparkly obsession happens to be {whisper} Edward. I didn't think it was possible, but this righteous vampire is seriously giving Captain Moroni a run for his money.